Office happenings
torture and the baby
0I started off today by pulling out my rolling desk cart, setting down some cookies and strategically placing a fan to waft them straight at my boss’ office door a few feet away. Attempting to torture and break him is often the highlight of my day.
The boss just left for the gym to burn that sugar he just consumed off. MWhahahahaha!
In other news, Cassidy (a coworker) recently allowed an alien to burst out though her stomach. I finally finished this baby blanket I had been secretly working on for her offspring-baby-jiggly thing. I obviously couldn’t post a pic until she received in since we all know she’s home all day facebooking now and would see it.
I went with zigzags since it reminds me of my baby blanket. (I MISS YOU BANKY!)
Already a pink blanket is well underway for someone else who carelessly allowed an alien impregnate them. Silly girls… when will they learn.
squish squash
0Me:Â My chair hurts my back, how do I get a new one?
Steven:Â You have a $600 chair!
Me: A $600 chair that’s hurting my back!
Steven: What’s wrong with it? And how did you break this one?
Me:Â That last one was already broken.
Steven: Uh huh
Me:Â I did NOT squish that chair, STEVEN.
Steven: uh huh
Me: Well I DID squish it, but it was already partially squished, I just finished the job.
Steven: alright. It was broken already.
Me: Don’t make me feel fat, I’ll kick your ass.
Steven: (Laughs) What’s wrong with this one?
Me: I think my giant fat ass flattened the bottom cushion. I have no butt support.  I NEED BUTT SUPPORT, STEVEN! (ass grabbing motion)
Steven: (cough-spew-laugh) Come on, lets find you a new chair.
run away daniel, run away
0this day cannot get any more shitty.
i already warned my co-workers i may run away screaming very soon. they’re already worried i’m about to quit.
“Dude that was like 20 minutes!”
0
I walked out of the bathroom and saw Smitty sitting at his desk looking at his watch. His office has a nice view of the bathroom.
Smitty: “Dude that was like 20 minutes!”
Me: “That was like a whole family style salad right there, I tell you what.”
Smitty: “Are you sweating?!”Â
Me: “Oh my… that was a good one!”
Kim, who sits next to Smitty and had turned around to join the conversation, swung her head back around like she didn’t want to hear anymore. Smitty was almost in tear laughing so hard.
Smitty:Â “You damn salad shooter!”
Steven was coming down the hall towards us.
Me: “I wouldn’t go in there.”
I was being nice by warning him. We seem to have this love-hate thing going… I should’ve let him go in and discovered the situation for himself. I’m so generous sometimes 
 I consider that my good deed for the day. (har har, deed!)
Steven: “I hope you left the lights on so the fan would run. We need to get a sign or something.”
I feel several pounds lighter already. Just thought I would share  It’s amazing how one hefty poo can turn a whole office upside down. hehe.
In the PMS Zone
0I’m having my PMS (yes, i pronouce it pums) today. I’m a total cranky head. I’m tired, I don’t feel up to snuff (something is going around the office), and I’m just overworked all the time.
My coworkers were making fun of me… we all make fun of each other constantly, so it’s no big deal. They were teasing me about what i wear because they all come in business casual and i come in wearing short, t-shirts or any damn thing i please.
So I am walking down the hall to get Ben for lunch and an instant message pops up on his screen that says something like “We need to nominate daniel for that TV show, ‘What Not To Wear’.”
I swung his office door open the door, stomped down the hall to the persons office and said…
“You know I was standing right there when that message came in.”
Him: “I thought you might have been..”
“Your an asshole!”
and stomped off. I’m just not taking any jokes well today.
anyone have a pamprin?
What’s wrong with it?
0
2 months ago this was just 4 sticks stuck in some rocks… it’s really taken off! Granted it’s supposed to be easy to grow, but I’m surprised I haven’t killed it yet….I just don’t have a green thumb.
Maybe I’ll have to get another plant and see if my thumb has changed colors or it really has that strong of a will power to survive.
nnnNaR!!!!!
0
should’ve stayed in bed
0Yesterday and today have both been troublesome days at work. Everything is going wrong….and being the only tech guy everyone is looking at me to fix everything. Not that it’s bad, I like feeling needed…
Today I arrived at work early. When I walked in, everyone looked at their watch and then looked up at me confused. I’m trying to make the effort of getting more done at work and spend less time at home working. It is now just after 10:30 a.m. and I’m realizing that it’s going to be an extra long day because of it. I am sure I will be dragging ass by 2 p.m.
Most of the issues have been easily fixed so far. However, one of them has me confused at the moment. Users upload images to our site and suddenly several accounts are missing images. The site seems fine, it seems to think the image should be there but when I look on the site for the file it is nowhere to be found. So what happened to the images? I know they used to be there. The only thing I have to go on so far is that some of the account appear to be related (ie. users from the same company), but it could just be coincidence. I’m not sure where to start with this one..
Signed,
Stumped in Redmond, WA
Â
Oh Beckerz…
0Today the office seems gloomy. A lot of the employees are out sick or have the day off and the employees that are here are being quiet.
Sounds like good news, right? I’ve always liked a quiet office in the past. People aren’t handing out work when it’s quiet.
However, today Becky seems down…she seems very down. She’s the life of our office. Everyone loves her and she has one of those dynamic attitudes that just puts everyone in a good mood.
This gloominess only happened once before, and it wasn’t even very bad. Last time I went to the store on my lunch hour and brought her back a small potted rose bush thingy for her desk. I knew it would die in the office, but it was the thought behind it. I told her it was our “relationship plant”…. it lasted for all of a week before it was shriveled up dead, lol.
This time I’m out of ideas….I’m not sure how to chear the beckers up. Hmmm.
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