My buddy at work, Chris, can be quite the asshat, but that’s why I <3 him.  This this convo for instance.

Chris (12:55 PM): BEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
Daniel (12:56 PM): :P
Chris (12:56 PM): shup?
Daniel (12:57 PM): nothing, bored
Chris (12:57 PM): aww
Chris (12:57 PM): there there
Daniel (12:57 PM): haha
Chris (12:57 PM): *pats head
Chris (12:57 PM): &gives hershey kiss
Daniel (12:57 PM): OOOOhhhh
Chris (12:57 PM): you wanna play with your ball?
Daniel (12:57 PM): i have more than one, thankyouverymuch
Chris (12:57 PM): thereeeee ya go.
Daniel (12:58 PM): omg stop treating me like a dog
Chris (12:58 PM): get your ball.. it’s yours! go get it! go get it!
Daniel (12:58 PM): *beats you*
Chris (12:58 PM): NO!
Chris (12:58 PM): nnnnnnnnnno.
Chris (12:58 PM): that’s BAD.
Daniel (12:58 PM): LOL
Daniel (12:58 PM): STOP IT
Chris (12:58 PM): can you speak?
Chris (12:58 PM): can you speak?
Chris (12:58 PM): speak!

And that is when he heard me stomping down the hall and got punched.