Me:  My chair hurts my back, how do I get a new one?

Steven:  You have a $600 chair!

Me:  A $600 chair that’s hurting my back!

Steven: What’s wrong with it?  And how did you break this one?

Me:  That last one was already broken.

Steven: Uh huh

Me:  I did NOT squish that chair, STEVEN.

Steven: uh huh

Me: Well I DID squish it, but it was already partially squished, I just finished the job.

Steven: alright.  It was broken already.

Me: Don’t make me feel fat, I’ll kick your ass.

Steven: (Laughs) What’s wrong with this one?

Me: I think my giant fat ass flattened the bottom cushion.  I have no butt support.  I NEED BUTT SUPPORT, STEVEN!  (ass grabbing motion)

Steven: (cough-spew-laugh) Come on, lets find you a new chair.