Daily spewage of a bitter mind.
1461184_10155301653825085_8795212232114936647_n

I’m a hurricane

0

1461184_10155301653825085_8795212232114936647_nThis is my latest accessory. And hopefully not a permanent one.

I know what you’re already thinking in your pretty little heads, “Daniel, you’re too young and beautiful for a cane.”

And if you are thinking that, you would be correct. But such is life.

I am slightly self conscious about it, so don’t say a damn thing about it because I will not hesitate to beat the living hell out of you with it and call you a whippersnapper.

Malcolm has already suggested painting flames on it and adding pinwheels to make it more stylish…. and faster, of course. I am also considering camouflage, so you know.. you can’t see it.

wild blueberry coffee

0

I swear, with a little creamer and a little sweetener, it’s like drinking a blueberry muffin.

qq gecko

Guilt does not work on me

1

 

Email received:

Here at GEICO, the Gecko is feeling a bit sad today. In fact, he's feeling pretty neglected.  Why?  Because you once got a quote from GEICO and never came back to buy a policy.  Done't neglect the Gecko - he just wantst o help you save money.

Response sent:

From: Daniel  To: GEICO  Send me his tears in a jar.

031313_2014_DearBossman1.jpg

Dear Boss-man

0

 

Boss:

My throat has swollen up a few hours ago and has become very scratchy. In preparation for my impending sickness I have licked every piece of silverware in the office kitchen.

 


 

You should probably not eat anything here.

SavedPicture-20132202058.jpg

Dearest canvas

0

Dearest giant canvas by the kitty scratch box:

What do you wish to be?

121012_2118_Crawl1.jpg

Crawl

0

Sometimes you have to crawl before you walk.

 

Get it?? It’s a pottery reference, heh…. You know, because crawling.. nevermind.

 

If anyone from Mayco is reading this, I think you need clearer defined instructions (or limitations) on your sculpting medium. This was not expected results. Does that look like dripping honey on a honey pot? NO! It looks like crap. That’s what it looks like.

SD_movie_Optimus_Prime_by_VR_Eli[1]

Oh prime, how I love thee

0



I love my amazon prime membership.  I’ve been in love with it since it was first introduced many years ago.  If I could, I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George.  I’d also probably be put in jail for molestation.

Why go to the store or hunt for something when I can order it for cheap at any time and have it 2-day shipped for free.

One thing I’ve noticed though is that I’m getting really spoiled.  I order things and then the next day I am tapping my foot and wishing I had it NOW.  I’m good about planning ahead on my own projects on what I’ll need later that week, but once 24 hours hits I start obsession on the tracking information and where my order is.

The only thing that could make their shipping club even better would to have another tier that has 1-day shipping included.  Currently they let you 1-day order for 2.99, but most things I order tend to be cheap and adding 2.99 to an art supply makes it not any cheaper than just going to the store…. so it’s hard to justify.  But I would definitely be a member of that tier… easier to justify over the course of a whole year and many many purchases.

So Amazon:  Hint Hint, get to it.

GivingTheFingerToFear

Oh, screw you too.

0

Last night I looked up and saw one lone cloud floating across the sky.

Aww, how lovely.  And then I realized the cloud looked like a giant hand flipping me off.

“Oh, screw you too!”  So I went back inside.

Today, I found this image, obviously I’m not the only one the sky hates.

Blackberry01

no burries

0

Camera 360

The neighbor’s whole yard was solid blackberries until a few weeks ago until a crew came in and ripped them all out. It was a shame because I was enjoying all the free berries leaking over the property line. There was no fence there but with a wall of vines we weren’t worried about it, at least not until next summer.  When the crew came in it pushed up the plans. I’ve only been adding one post a night since the sun is setting by the time I get home and get a hole dug.

Putting up a fence is a lot of work.

I bet you didn’t know that.

220px-Biggest_Loser_logo[1]

biggest loser

0

This week has been another huge diet week for me. I have been dieting right along but I really stepped it up. My workplace launched a Biggest Loser contest as part of our health program. Sunday night I was rubbing my temples and asking myself what I had signed up for. But Monday morning I was surprisingly gung-ho!

All week I’ve been minding my diet, walking at lunches, exercising at the gym and doing yard work. My calves will attest to it because they are completely torn up from pulling blackberry bushes in the back yard.

I’ve already begun threats against the other 43 people participating. I have evil plans to make sure I win. I am not above picking off each and everyone one of them to attain my goal.

 

Cookies on their desks? Will do.

Threatening to not help them at work if they don’t drop out? Already done.

Injecting their lunches with lard. Possible.

 

4 days in and 10lbs down. My next weigh in will be Monday morning.

I will be a LOSER!!

 

…wait a minute…

Go to Top